Self-Awareness, the Mistaken Form of Arrogance

I think of myself as a self-aware person. As a matter of fact, My friends and I pride ourselves on being honest with each other and our selves. In a very un-man-like manner we talk to each other about our feelings and concerns. So in this tradition I have always tried to keep my ego/confidence in check. I am naturally a very confident person, it is however, based on a percentage of things 45% athleticism, 50% intelligence and 5% on how I look and to be honest if I wasn't told this by others my looks would not be a factor. I can talk my way into a lot of situations and definitely my out of them. Any ol' ways I know that I can come off as arrogant to other people, and in the long run I do not see a problem with being arrogant, I am happy I have the confidence to try something that I have never tried before and to hop into a situation that has potential to be humiliating. The funny part about that is there is a paradox. A person with a lot of confidence is more likely to be the class clown, but the behavior he shows, self-mockery and displays of tom-foolery are giving him the attention he wants. I psychoanalyze like this all the time about myself. Its not exactly normal for all I know.

I can't seem to focus. I was trying to discuss self-awareness. My whole tirade is essentially what Gabriel would be going through. At least according to me. His continuous analyzing of the situations he is put in is representative a very self-aware person. In the story he is a seemingly awkward conversationalist, but he shows otherwise with his speech to those at the dinner table. The fact that he seems to have so many issues socializing on a personal level is similar to myself. We over think everything. I cannot help cataloguing and critiquing every nuance of a conversation or interaction. Similar to that of Gabriel. The entire story I was astounded at how much I could relate to his plight, and I think he said it best. We are the spawn of not only over education but overspecialization. We know more about less in today's world. In the days of Joyce people read extensively and took great pride in it nowadays it isn't "cool" to read a lot or it is but no one else has the time to do it. In this sense many English majors feel like they are an outcast in a land of idiots. I know I feel that way sometimes. It sucks when I bust out a truly clever joke based on something I have read, not seen in a movie, and nobody gets it. I'm sure I'm not alone in those sentiments. The difficulty for me is also that I feel out of place around much of my family, because they are not college educated. Much like Gabriel, I feel some discomfort around my relatives, realizing things like the mediocrity of our cousins piano skills.
Is this morose behavior our downfall? I do not think so it is just the curse that the acquisition of knowledge can leave us with. It is conceited in the extreme to think that one can easily read people and so often one is proved wrong in their assumptions which is why even though we may not fit in and be elevated above others, that aspect is to be treasured not scorned. To clarify I mean treasure our education not lord it over those who are not.